We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize