i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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