is your mom at the bar?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
