brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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