we have officially lost it.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
