In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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