Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You need a sexual gate keeper
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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