I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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