tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I made him laugh his dick is mine
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
