I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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