Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
