It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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