if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its about making memories worth repressing
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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