I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
