We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
