so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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