we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize