You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My vagina is officially offended.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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