The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
false alarm, still single
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