Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
