I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize