I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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