All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize