What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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