Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
