on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I touched a dick in church today
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
