Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
