Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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