I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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