So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize