Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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