He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found puke in my bra..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
