Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
