My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
