Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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