I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
