i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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