I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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