Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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