So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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