Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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