So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
birth control should be required to get into college
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
