That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
