She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
