I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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