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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.

  Fav 14 2370 904

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more

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• (650): View more from California

  I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.

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• (230): View more from

  Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.

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• (949): View more from California

  so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment

  (214): View more from Texas

  yah I won't allow him in my apartment

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• (415): View more from California

  So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.

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• (845): View more from New York

  The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.

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• (716): View more from New York

  She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though

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• (516): View more from New York

  I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.

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