Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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