she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
