This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we're so committed to being not committed
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
