I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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