the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
