Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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