Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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