Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
