I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
