I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
