Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
