Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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