Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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