wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
