You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
