she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
