He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
