On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
