I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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