Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
