He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
