Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
