even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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