So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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