the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
