Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
