I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
