Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
