nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
People in love make me want to vomit
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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